A digest for conscious living
My wife is in the other room attempting to wean our daughter off the breast- its hard to listen to the little one’s incessant suffering protests.
I got up early this morning and had a long meditation. My body was feeling a bit fatigued today, so I took the day off from exercising, including yoga.
It has become clear to me that there are some fundamental changes on the material level that need to happen in my life in order to bring all aspects of my life into harmony. I have for almost 4 years now been working on building up a small business that I have now realized will not fulfill me.
Financially, there is certainly a living to be made from the platform which I have put into place. The problem is that if I am honest, I don’t believe this kind of work has the content to ever stimulate me to evolve to my full potential as a person.
For so much of my life, I lived as an artist- a violinist doing what I wanted not really for financial gain, but because I felt compeled to play. The decision to start the business I am currently running was motivated by much more practical reasons. It had little to do with my personal feelings about the work- it is a business to me, full stop.
I know now that I need to return to doing something that will truly challenge me in a way that will push me to grow and develop so that my outer life grows in tandem with my inner life.
I want to do something that I find interesting, and that at the same time directly helps people. I have decided to look into learning more about different kinds of psycho therapies, and I have already started looking into the possibility of re-educating myself in order to be able to follow this path as far as I have to manifest the other life that will be chisled by my inner sculptor.
One of the important things I have learned from writing this blog, is that I am fascinated with the workings of the human mind. I guess this has always been the case, but actually writing about it each night has given me a new perspective on myself. I have a strong impulse to learn everything I can about how to heal the mind and bring it to clarity and freedom. After all, at the moment I am involved in a research experiment, using myself as the subject to study the effect of yoga and meditation on the mind and consciousness. This is what I do with my free time, because I want to and feel compelled to.
I see that most of the human population, including myself, is plagued by rampant psychological dysfunction, and as I try to rid myself of as much of it as I can, I would like to help other do the same. Its necessary this way, after all no one can be healed alone. We all share a common consciousness so there is no such thing as being completely healed unless we are all healed.
I am changing course. I have responsibilities and commitments, so this change is not likely to happen today, tomorrow, or next week, but its going to happen. This is my freedom- I have a new goal.
Goodnight,
Kikta