A digest for conscious living
I was finally healthy enough to wake up early and complete a full yoga session followed by meditation. I enjoyed the day all the more for it.
It has become clear to me recently that the people that I spend time with have an incredible influence on the state of my mind and emotions. Being physically present with someone is not the only way of spending time with them. How often have I in my mind played-out conversations with people who symbolize negativity, fear, or conflict for me? Over the long run, the end result of such imaginary interactions can be just as damaging as actually being in their presence.
I imagine that there must be a stage of development at which the inner stability that one has created becomes immune to the negative energy of individuals who engage in spreading their inner suffering. For me at this point in my life however, if I regularly spend time with someone who flows me a strong negative energy, it is almost inevitable that I come within their sphere of influence.
The problem is that once a negative interaction has taken place, it is extremely difficult for me to keep from thinking about it over and over long after the actual experience has passed. The negativity then acts like a pathogen which has infected the host, dwelling and multiplying itself until an emotional outburst passes the suffering on to the next person. And so the mental disease of self induced suffering gets passed on from one person to another, from one society to another, and from one generation to another.
On the one hand I see a possible solution in the strengthening of the psychological and emotional “immune system” through the practice of meditation, or therapy of some sort. I believe that true and clear awareness and understanding of the mechanisms at work will render the pathogen of illness harmless. This sort of strengthening takes a great deal of time and dedication however and in the mean time I feel that carefully choosing the people with whom I spend my time and energy is critical to cultivating a pure emotional and psychological state.
It is not always easy to chose one’s company with this kind of care. Friends, colleagues, lovers, family members- a person who can influence me this degree is normally one of these people. I think I have often been under the impression that I MUST interact with certain people even when these interactions have a negative impact on me. This sense of a lack of control over my circumstances only serves to exacerbate the negative feelings spawned by the individual in question.
The truth is that it is extremely unusual to be bound to a person in such a way as to not be able to create considerable space between me and them. The pivotal realization however is that the choice is really mine. Do I really HAVE to spend time with someone, or am I choosing to? The question becomes even more relevant when I ask myself: Do I really have to think about this person and that experience, or am I choosing to? Almost invariably the answer is that I choose to expose myself, I choose to dwell on certain people and certain issues, and thus, I choose to suffer.
It is important to know that this is a choice. Once I accept that it is my choice, I can at least begin the process of learning to chose peace rather than suffering.
Goodnight,
Kikta