A digest for conscious living
I am writing this entry tonight just to make sure that I don’t lose the thread of my entries entirely. I have neglected my entries recently and it is weighing on me, but I have had very little choice in the matter. The last week has been incredibly tough. After dealing with a lingering respiratory infection throughout my time in Iceland, I arrived home to immediately fall prey to one of the nastiest viruses I have come across in recent memory- it was brutal and lasted for almost a week. Im still reeling. Yesterday was the first day that I was able to really do much of anything and incredibly my wife came down with a bladder infection and fever. As if that were not enough, this morning my daughter woke up with her own fever! Thankfully I was able to get up early and bring myself to meditate before having to tend to my sick girls.
I have lost a great deal of clarity since I left home for the Christmas holidays. I neglected my spiritual practice while we were in Iceland, but never intended for it to get to this point. Over the past few days, I have come to the realization that my mind has reverted to old formulas and tired stories. Slowly and without my even being aware, I have slipped back into a very familiar state. It is the accepted operating system that I recognize most people are running in their minds and that I took as a default state for many years. And it is crazy.
I am once again too tired to continue, but I will be back. I hope this week will bring my energy back as I begin to Practice vigorously again. This week I was reminded of why I began meditation practice so many years ago… without it the mind turns on itself.
Goodnight,
Kikta