A digest for conscious living
The last day of the fast… a gentle yoga session in the morning and meditation in the evening.
Its interesting to note how I am concerned with subjects like Spirituality, Awakenment, and Consciousness so long as I am not too hungry. After one day of very limited calorie intake followed by 5 days of water fasting, things are different.
Its not that I don’t think about the above mentioned subjects, or that I don’t recognize their value. My attention however has been drawn to the more immediate aspects of my life. I have rediscovered the depth that is to be found in even the most material and mundane elements of my experience. My profound connection to these aspects of my life has reminded me of my humanity and how grateful I am for the human spirit which dwells within me.
The riches to be found through the inner journey of self discovery are wondrous to be sure, but when I look around me right now, I realize that the material world is but another expression of the same beauty that is to be found within- I just needed to re-learn the right way to navigate it. I did it well as a child.
At some point during the process of transition from adolescence to adulthood, I began rejecting the material aspects of life. As my spiritual growth unfolded, I somehow began equating the physical world and the involvement in material activities with folly, illusion, and deception. To a certain degree, I had lost the appreciation for the treasures that are all around me.
Of course like anything, when I relinquish my freedom to material pleasures and allow myself to be ruled by them, I will surely be lead down the path toward confusion and suffering. But to reject this material dimension in which my body dwells would be to deny an aspect of myself. This path also leads toward suffering because I can never win an argument against what IS. A balance must be found. I must love all of this and be flexible. I must be like an amphibian, creature and fluidly manage both the spiritual as well as the material. This is the key.
Perhaps the way to do this is to allow the mind, body, and soul to experience what they may while being ever so subtly rooted in emptiness. Or perhaps the real truth is that I need not do anything but accept and witness- Suffering comes and goes… Bliss comes and goes…
I see, that in a way, I am physically and psychologically addicted to food. It crystalizes my connection to the material world. Its an attachment that I have. I accept this. I love food. I love air, I love emotion, I love sharing and laughing with other people- I love being a human being. I need not forsake the material world in order to find God’s beauty and love. Its here- in the food that nourishes me, in the body that is the temple for my soul, in my daughters laugh. There is infinite depth in the human spirit. It matters not where I look- there is infinite depth in every direction.
Goodnight,
Kikta