A digest for conscious living
I was extremely tired this morning when the alarm went off, but forced myself to complete my Practice anyways. When I am that tired it can be a real challenge to maintain my focus and reach a true state of stillness while meditating. In these instances, and particularly if I am planning on a long meditation, I find it helpful to concentrate and focus with as much effort as possible, but also to break up the session by taking one or two short breaks to stretch and move a bit before continuing. Its better to have two or three short meditations with pure effort than one long one without.
Its interesting how this path is so consuming. Once one has been pierced with the arrow of Awakenment, its as if the barbs on the arrow head keep it moving in one direction. It moves irreversibly deeper and deeper into the flesh of my consciousness. The rabit hole gets more and more narrow as it goes, and once one crawls in, the only way out is to emerge on the other side.
This weekend it became clear that over the past few months, the focus of my life has changed. I had always been a Spiritually minded person and very quickly after taking up meditation realized that this would be a life changing activity. Now almost 10 years later, I realize the time for that change has arrived.
Until recently, the insights and wisdom that I had gleaned along the spiritual path had no doubt affected my behavior and ways of thinking. My life had certainly been influenced by my practice of meditation, but somehow the truths that I had learned had remained on the periphery of my being. I realize now that this entire time, the Absolute has been calling me, but I have been unprepared and uwilling to heed the call completely. Its not a call to a certain place or a certain person or activity. It is the inner call that asks: Are you ready to say “yes”, to yourself?
Are you prepared to surrender to Life?
I have now turned to face this call and I have heard it. My answer is affirmative- Yes. The dark place that I experienced the week before last was a shift. It was the death of something inside me. It was the death that was necessary for a new life to begin.
Yes… the sun drenched fields had been tilled and fertilized, and the seeds planted, but the water had not yet arrived. Now the channel has been opened and the water is flowing- shimmering along the narrow, neatly organized network of shallow grooves which will direct it and bring its life to this land.
Goodnight,
Kikta