A digest for conscious living
I was not able to post for the past couple of days because I had concerts in the evenings and rehearsals during the days along with work all last week. I nevertheless managed to find the time for my yoga and meditation every day. I am still fighting with the last bit of a lingering cold, and with everything that I have had on my plate this week, I’m feeling quite beat-up. In spite of all this, I have been feeling quite stable emotionally.
Sometimes, when I fall out of the Lucid state, and begin thinking about my problems, worries, and short-comings, I ask myself: If I have experienced the reality of a truly Lucid Living state, why do I repeatedly come back to this place? When I am under the spell of these illusory concerns, more often than not, I can justify my feelings with very substantial and credible reasons why I have been de-railed into a negative state of mind which prevents me from recognizing the dream nature of this existance. Usually something out of my control has happened which I think or know will affect me negatively, or I have made a mistake of some sort, and I am certain that I will have to endure the concequences etc. In other words, I have become gripped by fear. I have come to realize that fear seems to be the fundamental negative emotion which masks itself as anger, frustration, dispair, or whichever negative emotion my ego mind thinks is best suited as a reaction to the threatening circumstances at hand.
But if I truly contemplate what it would mean to continually remain Lucid, I realize that being completely Awake at all times would imply that I would recognize the illusory dream nature of all events happening in the dreamscape. A nightmare can only persist as long as one does not realize that it is a dream. Being constantly Lucid would therefore mean that I would react to fearful circumstances with understanding, curiosity, wonder, and equanimity- always. If I take this knowledge and apply it consequently, it becomes clear that I must make a choice: to always encounter fearful or negative events or circumstances with the wisdom, confidence, and equanimity with which I handle any other parts of the dream. The decision to do this takes courage and commitment- faith in what I know to be true when I have insight. When I consider what doing this would mean for my life, I feel a great sense of relief. A sense of peace and clarity comes over me- the peace and clarity I am looking for.
Goodnight,
Kikta