A digest for conscious living
The past couple of days have been challenging in that I did not necessarily feel like I was making much progress in my practice. After my time in the mountains, coming back to the city to my regular routine was a bit tough. I felt a bit frustrated with myself and my life and clarity began seeming elusive. I even began thinking it quite absurd that I engage in this practice at all- My ego mind fighting for survival I guess. My wife and I meditated together this evening and I finally feel as if I have passed through this rough spot- I feel like I have my center back.
When I go through periods like this, it sometimes helps me to think of someone, perhaps a child, who might be studying a caterpillar for the first time. The caterpillar spends the first part of its life crawling around on a tree eating leaves, and there is not the least suspicion that there will be anything more to its existence. Then one day, it spins its cocoon around itself and hangs itself from a branch on the tree. For a long time, it rests, seemingly lifeless inside its hard protective shell. A person who had never seen this process before, might think that the caterpillar had died- or that it might be stuck inside this shell. One might even have the inclination to help break it out, to see it if is still alive. A person who has observed the process before however, will understand what is happening and know that any attempt to free the creature prematurely, would fatally interrupt the transformation which is taking place. He or she would know that one must simply wait quietly for the transformation to occur- there is no way to rush or speed the process. With this insight, the time in the cocoon can then be seen with optimistic anticipation and excitement, in the knowledge that eventually, one of the most beautiful creatures in all of creation will emerge- and fly on the wind.
“Life is one big road with lots of signs, so when your ridin through the ruts, don’t you complicate your mind.” – Bob Marley
Good night,
Kikta